Helga's Sessions
by unusual individual
Summary: A series of short stories depicting the rest of Helga's therapy sessions with Doctor Bliss during the rest of season 4 after "Helga On The Couch".
1. Between Sessions I And II

Helga goes home, talks to Phoebe, and thinks about her first therapy session and what therapy with Doctor Bliss might mean for her in the future.

* * *

Author's Note Word Count: 343

Story Word Count: 1,128

Published 4-25-13

Author's Note Updated: 5-18-13

* * *

**Unnecessarily Long And Precise Legal Disclaimer: Since you're reading this on fan fiction dot net, it's probably obvious that I don't own the rights to **_**Hey Arnold**_** or any of its characters. I'm using these characters without permission, but I'm writing this purely for my own pleasure – not for the sake of copyright infringement – and therefore I wouldn't try to make money off this story even if someone were willing to pay for it, nor would I attempt to use it infringe on the profits of Nickelodeon or Viacom Incorporated.**

**Author's Note: In the episode "Helga On The Couch" – which inspired this fan fic – Doctor Bliss tells Helga that they'll be meeting Tuesdays and Thursdays after school. For the purposes of this series, I'm assuming that the episodes of "Hey Arnold" take place mostly in the order in which they're listed on the episode guide on Wikipedia, meaning for example that the next episode listed there after HOTC is the earliest one to take place after it in chronological terms (the episode in question is "Dino Checks Out"). I'm also assuming that HOTC takes place over a Monday (the day Bliss recommended Helga for treatment) and a Tuesday (the day the session actually happens).**

**My plan is for each fan fic in this series – aside from this first one – to cover one session, so I'll always put a note at the beginning of each entry mentioning which episode the session takes place before or during, as well as which one it takes place after and how long after. I'm also creating a timeline which can be found in the forums (just go to my profile by clicking my name at the top of this story and then follow the link there). This entry takes place immediately after the events of "Helga On The Couch".**

**More Trivial Author's Note: This is the first project on which I'm going to use my new made-up logo name, which I'll be putting on all my future web stories, videos, and other projects I plan to make.**

* * *

Qwirky Productions

presents

a story based on a television series and set of characters that are all the creation of Craig Bartlet and intellectual property of Nickelodeon and Viacom

"Helga After The Couch"

Helga Pataki turned away from the lemons she'd just hallucinated were copies of Arnold's head and walked home with a spring in her step. For once, she was too happy to think about the unhappy life waiting for her at home. All she could think about was how good it felt to finally have confessed her deepest secret out loud. "Nothing could spoil my mood right now!" she proclaimed enthusiastically to no one in particular, "nothing!"

She stopped as she reached the Sunset Arms boarding house and stared at it in wonder. "I wonder what he's doing in there" she sighed longingly, then made her guesses in the melodramatic voice she always used when performing her monologues about loving Arnold. "Maybe plotting a way to help another unfortunate soul in need, or enjoying some strange but brilliant pastime he invented with those strange but lovable grandparents and boarders he lives with. Or perhaps his football-shaped brain is lost in some deep, naïve but profound thoughts about life." Actually, Arnold was just staring at his homework, wishing he could be doing something else instead that wasn't so painfully tedious, but of course, Helga didn't know that.

* * *

Helga continued spinning, skipping and dancing until she reached home, then sighed, knowing what was probably waiting for her inside. Still, she reminded herself, in two days she wouldn't have to go home as soon, since she'd be seeing Doctor Bliss again and then staying over at Phoebe's house. She could endure the rest of today and the periods before and after school tomorrow, right? _I've endured Bob and Miriam for my whole life_ she thought bitterly, _less than two days should be a piece of cake_. She tried not to think about the chunks of Friday, Monday and Tuesday or entire weekend she'd have to spend with them between her second and third sessions, much as most children looking forward to the weekend try not to think of the Monday coming after it.

* * *

Just as expected, she came in to find no one in the living room. Checking the kitchen, she found Miriam sleeping with her head on the table, arms curled around her blender. A cup lay near the chair with a puddle of smoothie leaking out. Helga scowled, went up to her room, and slammed the door. Then she dropped down on the bed, picked up the phone on the table next to the bed, and dialed Phoebe's phone number.

* * *

Phoebe was in the middle of homework when her mother informed her that Helga was on the phone for her. She put the receiver up to her ear, not sure what to expect. Did she need to cancel their plans tomorrow? That would be disappointing. Perhaps she needed to talk about "Ice Cream", or her family, or some other personal matter? That sort of conversation was rare between them, but it had been known to happen.

"Hey, Pheebs, you will not _believe_ what happened!" she chattered excitedly. It was a surprise to hear Helga so happy, Phoebe thought, but a pleasant surprise. She opened her mouth to ask what happened, but Helga kept going. "Therapy was great!"

"I'm glad, Helga" Phoebe said cheerfully. She'd privately worried that Helga might refuse to let therapy work despite for her the fact that she could really use it. It seemed as though those fears had proved unnecessary. "Would you like to tell me more, or would you rather keep in confidence?"

"Weeeeeellllll" said Helga, drawing out the work "well" in a cheery and goofy way that was strikingly out of character for her. "We jumped rope, and I talked about my family and…y'know, ice cream." Helga had wondered if her newfound burst of confidence after her therapy session would enable her to mention Arnold by name when talking about her feelings for him without being forced to. Apparently not, but it didn't detract from Helga's rare good mood for very long. "Oh, and she said I shouldn't sock Brainy anymore".

There was a hint of dissatisfaction in Helga's voice when she added that last part. She felt completely within her rights in punching someone who literally breathed down her neck and wouldn't leave her alone. Perhaps, Helga thought, she should try to stop anyway if it was really so important to Doctor Bliss – who Helga was already quite fond of – but she couldn't think how she was going to do that. Her good mood and excited tone returned quickly, however. "But I can't even begin to describe how _free _I felt, Pheebs! It was like this huge, terrible weight that's been bearing down on my soul my whole life was finally lifted off me!"

"I'm very happy for you, Helga" Phoebe reiterated. Helga continued to chatter excitedly about her session for almost as long as the session itself had lasted. Phoebe seldom got a word in other than telling Helga for the umpteenth time how happy she was for her, but Phoebe didn't mind. She wished her best friend had the kind of life that allowed her to be even 12% this happy on a typical day. Eventually, Helga reluctantly said goodbye, hung up, and lay down on her bed trying to get her homework done. Her extreme joy made it difficult to concentrate, but she managed to make significant progress before getting hungry.

* * *

As per usual in the Pataki household, there was no official dinner. Everyone just ate whatever they found lying around the fridge and cabinets, and they ate at different times. Bob ate first, and then spent most of the night watching TV, followed by chattering excitedly on the phone about new successes within his business or the excitement of Olga coming home in a couple weeks, followed by watching more TV. Miriam alternately slept, than drank more smoothies, than sat around, then slept some more for most of the afternoon and evening. Helga spent most of the afternoon and evening on her homework, then the rest of the evening writing poems about Arnold.

* * *

After another melodramatic speech to her shrine, Helga went to bed with a big smile on her face. In her dreams, she became lighter and floated off the ground slightly as she visited Doctor Bliss office, and the kind women helped her push away the rainclouds that looked like Lila, Harold, her family, or her own face telling her she was "sick basket case" for stalking Arnold and building shrines to him. She was transformed into a happy, confidant person who swept Arnold off his feet won more trophies than Olga by entering her shrines and poetry in contests. It was quite disheartening to wake up the next morning and be reminded of the reality, and the old, angry Helga was back for most of Wednesday.


	2. Session II

Helga and Doctor Bliss discuss Helga's impulse to be mean to Arnold and Miriam's behavior changes during and after the show episode "The Beeper Queen".

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Author's Note Word Count: 155

Story Word Count: 4,116

Published: 4-25-13

Author's Note Updated: 5-18-13

* * *

**Unnecessarily Long And Precise Legal Disclaimer: Since you're reading this on fan fiction dot net, it's probably obvious that I don't own the rights to **_**Hey Arnold**_** or any of its characters. I'm using these characters without permission, but I'm writing this purely for my own pleasure – not for the sake of copyright infringement – and therefore I wouldn't try to make money off this story even if someone were willing to pay for it, nor would I attempt to use it infringe on the profits of Nickelodeon or Viacom Incorporated.**

**Author's Note: This fic takes place on the Thursday two days after where "Helga On The Couch" ends (and thus two days after "Helga After The Couch") and a couple days before the events of "Dino Checks Out" (which I've decided takes place over the weekend in this fan fic's timeline, since we never see any of the characters in school in that episode).**

Qwirky Productions

presents

a story based on a television series and set of characters that are all the creation of Craig Bartlet and intellectual property of Nickelodeon and Viacom

"Helga's Second Session"

Helga Pataki fidgeted anxiously in her seat, tightly repressing the urge to spring up and run out to the bus stop. She was even more desperate to leave than most of her classmates, but even they were glancing at the glacially slow clock, missing every word of Mr. Simmons' hurried lecture about multiplying fractions and decimals. Simmons tried to cram the last few bits of info in before the bell rang, having underestimated how long his lesson plan would take once it was implemented in the classroom, but then he noticed the gaze of all his students pointing at the clock or out the window and decided it was a lost cause.

"Okay, we'll cover more of this tomorrow" he said disappointedly. "Just get tonight's worksheet done and have a nice day. You can all go now." Almost immediately after he said that, the bell rang, and the students were already hurriedly packing their backpacks. Helga leaped up from her seat and her hands shook as she tried to stuff her textbooks in as quickly as possible. Arnold, who had already packed up in a neat and orderly fashion, stopped on his way out the door and glanced at Helga with slight concern on his oddly-shaped face.

"Are you okay, Helga?" he asked cautiously. Helga froze, and then turned around to face him. In her head, she excitedly thought _he asked if I'm okay! Oh, Arnold, my wonderful, considerate, darling! How I long to tell you how much more than okay – in fact, how _wonderful _I always feel when you speak to me!_ Out loud, she haughtily snapped "not that it's any of your business, _football head_, but for your information, I'm fine!" Arnold glared with annoyance and rolled his eyes, thinking he'd probably never understand this girl, and then headed out the door.

* * *

On a typical day, Helga would've name-called and threatened her way down the hall to the exit, pushing the other kids aside rather than ever walk around someone. Today, she did none of that because her head was completely up in the clouds, and her out-of-character behavior was not lost of Pheobe.

Pheobe glanced up at her friend for a while, wondering if she should bring the subject up, then cautiously asked "are you nervous about your impending return to therapy with Doctor Bliss?"  
Helga glanced around to make sure no one else was paying attention and then truthfully confided "Well, a little, but I'm looking forward to it anyway. Like I told you, I felt great after the last one!"  
"Good" Pheobe said cheerfully "I'm glad".

* * *

Helga took the bus to Hillwood Medical Center and kept tight inside her trench coat as she made her way through the bland lobby to the elevator. She clenched her sweaty hands together as she waited for the elevator to reach the right floor, and then stepped into the quiet waiting room. She took a seat but almost immediately stood up again. The thought of having another chat with one of the only two people who seemed to completely understand her – and without having to worry about who might overhear like when she talked to Pheobe – was so exciting she couldn't sit still any longer, and she frantically paced around the room, not relaxed at all by the soft blue carpeting and wall paper, the pleasantly quiet music, or the lack of any other people in the room today.

* * *

Doctor Bliss took a sip of coffee as she glanced at her schedule and saw that Helga Pataki was her next patient. She opened Helga's file and flipped through the notes to refresh her memory. It was coming back to her now; she was a fourth grade student at PS 118, 9 years old, and very knowledgeable and observant for her age but exhibiting frequent negative behavioral tendencies (name-calling, violence, and all around aggression and hostility towards most of her classmates) which seemed to stem from a variety of unhappy emotions (loneliness, low self-esteem, anger, sadness). She'd been quite reluctant to share anything about herself during their last session, but once she'd confessed an attraction to her classmate Arnold (referred to in Bliss' notes simply as "Arnold", since neither Helga nor anyone else at the school seemed to know what his last name was) she seemed to relax quite a bit and become less evasive, so hopefully today's session would be more helpful to her. Bliss thought she now remembered everything she needed to, but she reviewed the notes she'd taken about Helga's feelings toward her family just to make sure. Once she was done, she opened her office door to check if Helga had arrived yet. Helga had only been waiting for a few minutes before Doctor Bliss stepped out of one of the doors across the room, but it had felt like hours.

* * *

"Hello, Helga. Are you ready?" she asked with a bright smile.  
"Yes!" Helga replied with a big grin and thumbs up.  
"Good" said Bliss, and Helga skipped into the office and plopped down on the couch while Bliss took her seat.

* * *

"It looks like you've been feeling better since our last talk?" asked Dr. Bliss.

"A little bit better, I guess" Helga sighed, her body slumping down further on the couch, arms dropping to her sides and mood taking a 180 degree spin as she contemplated the events of the past few days.

"Suddenly, you don't sound much better" Bliss noted with concern.

"Well, y'know, my life hasn't changed that much in the past two days. My parents still act like I don't exist" her voice grew more irritated and resentful "and yesterday they were so excited to tell me that the _wondrous Olga _is coming back in three weeks." She quenched the Five Avengers and gritted her teeth for a couple seconds, then stopped and sighed. Her tone became much sadder "and I'm still basically invisible to Arnold except as someone who really bugs him. Still, this time I knew that I'd be able to come here and talk about it with someone who'll _actually listen_, so the past two days were more bearable than most of my life. I was really excited to come in today!"

"Well, good. This is meant to be a safe place for you to discuss your challenges, and I'm glad you've come to feel that that's what it is. Two days ago you seemed to be very uncomfortable here."

"Yeah" she said sadly, "well, yesterday I was really afraid you'd figure out I'm in love with Arnold. I didn't know about the whole 'confidence' thing."  
"Do you want to talk more about Arnold today, or about your family, or something else…?"  
Helga got off the couch and paced anxiously around the room for a bit, hands clasped behind her back, then sighed and sadly said "Arnold, I guess".

"You said you feel mostly invisible to him" Dr. Bliss noted.

"Yeah, most of our interaction is just when I throw a spitball at him or glue something to his butt or insult him...y'know, when I mess with him. Sometimes I come to him with my problems and he'll give me advice, or he'll notice that I'm unusually happy or sad or something and he'll ask me about it, but mostly, he only notices me when I tick him off."

"Have you tried not ticking him off?"

"I've tried to be nice to him, sometimes" Helga said guiltily, "but it's so hard, and I usually slip back into being a jerk to him again. It's like this uncontrollable impulse." She slipped into the melodramatic tone she usually used when making her "I love Arnold" speeches. "Tis a terrible force inside the very depths of my tortured soul that forces me to show even greater cruelty to Arnold than I do to our other classmates. I long to pull him close to me, yet I seem doomed to eternally push him away". She noticed the puzzled look her therapist was giving her there, and in a more normal tone, added "sorry, I get carried away and talk like that sometimes".

Bliss smiled. "You don't have to be sorry, Helga. But tell me, where do you think this impulse comes from?"

Helga went back to the couch and contemplated for a moment. "Well, I guess it just feels…safer. Anytime I try be nice him, I get so much more nervous, and I'm terrified he might figure out that I love him! It's just easier to hide behind nastiness."

"On those occasions when you tried being nice to him, what was going through your head?"

"Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, I'm scared!" Helga replied, clasping her hands tightly together and imitating the frantic tone in her head. "How's he gonna react? What will he say? _Please _let him like it!"

"So you're afraid he won't like what you have to say if you're nice to him?"

Helga threw her arms up in frustration. "I'm _always_ worried about whether or not he'll like something about me! I'd switch languages for the rest of my life if I found out he found some other language more attractive than English! I always wear this bow on my head because he complimented when we were three! But it's so _hard _to figure out what he's thinking sometimes." With a sad sigh, she added "That's why I eavesdrop on his conversations with Gerald, but those usually aren't about me."

Doctor Bliss couldn't help but think that placing _that _much importance on another person's opinion wasn't good for Helga, but now wasn't the time to bring that up. They would deal with it a later session. "How do you think Arnold feels when you insult him or play pranks on him?" she asked in a curious tone.

Helga stared at her legs now, so upset that she didn't want to meet Doctor Bliss' eyes. "Well, I think it really makes him mad. I mean, who wouldn't be mad?"

"I find it really interesting" Bliss observed in her usual non-judgmental tone "that you're worried about him not liking you, but you interact with him in ways that you think are making him angry at you".

Helga folded her arms, and while she continued sitting on the couch, her posture became stiffer. Bliss could tell from her tone of voice that she was very angry and frustrated with herself. "Believe me; I'm _well _aware of the stupidity of that! I mean, I feel awful after every time I do it, but I keep doing it anyway! What's wrong with me?"

"It sounds like you're very hard on yourself about the way you treat Arnold" Bliss said sympathetically.

"You have no idea" replied Helga, dropping her head onto her fists now.

"Why do you think that is?"

"Because I hate hurting him, and I hate the fact that I'm probably ruining my chances with him."

"You said you do this because it's less scary than being nice to him".

"So?"

"Well, do you really think it's fair to be so harsh on yourself for your own defense mechanism?" There was silence for a while as Helga pondered that question. Helga studied the carpet for a moment, and then her mind drifted off. She and Bliss could both hear the quiet ticking of the clock as Bliss waited curiously for Helga's response. Then, Helga finally broke the silence. "I guess…I never thought of it that way before."

"Suppose you did think of it that way after each time you've said or done something potentially hurtful to Arnold. Do you think that would make you feel any better?"

"Maybe" said Helga, "but even if it does, I'd rather have something I can think of beforehand to stop myself from being mean to him. Do you have any suggestions for that?"

"Well, what are you thinking before it happens?" Helga scrunched her face up in concentration. Her mind always raced and became so frantic and excited when she saw Arnold; it was hard to sort her thoughts out. She looked back on all the encounters with him that she could recall off the top of her head and tried to find some thoughts that commonly occurred before the "football head" comments slipped out.

All she could really come up with was "well, just general thoughts about how wonderful he is". Doctor Bliss had a feeling there was something she was missing, something Helga hadn't thought to mention. "So you think about how you think about those things, and then you immediately feel and urge to insult him, and then you act on that urge?"

Helga shifted on the couch a little. "Actually, I think those things, and then usually either I try to say something nice but then slip into being mean, or he'll say something to me and I'll reply with something mean."

"So the beginning of conversation between the two of you is what sets you on edge, and then you feel the need to…I believe the phrase you used earlier was 'hide behind nastiness'."

"Right" Helga said, relieved that her therapist finally seemed to get it. "As soon as it looks like we're going to have a friendly chat, I freak, and I need to hide my true feelings."

"Do you think it's impossible to have a friendly chat with him without revealing your true feelings?"

A thoughtful look appeared on Helga's face. "You mean like, act like I like him without _liking _liking him?"

Bliss smiled at the childhood language. It brought back memories. "Yes, that's exactly what I mean."

"Well, I guess it's not _impossible_, it's just really hard. I mean, what if something I say or do tips him off?"

"Do you think there's any risk to continuing to do what you've been doing?"

Helga cast her eyes at the ground and said anxiously "Well, I guess I could push him too far and make him dislike me."

"Are there any other options you can think of besides being friendly to him or pranking and name-calling him?"

"There's just ignoring him, I suppose. But that _would _be impossible for me, and I'm afraid he might ignore me back."

"So those are the cons and risks of each option" said Dr. Bliss, "what are some possible pros or positive outcomes from each option?"

"Well, I guess he's more likely to like me or even _like me_ like me if I'm nice to him, and wouldn't have to feel guilty about the way I've treated him. But if I'm mean to him, I don't have to be scared of him figuring out my secret. Can't really think of any pros to just ignoring him."

"So when you weigh the pros and cons of being nice to him versus being mean to him, which do you think is the preferable choice?" This lead to about fifteen minutes of silence as Helga mulled it over, her shoulder muscles tight and a squirming feeling in her stomach. Doctor Bliss waited patiently, wondering what could be going through Helga's mind right now. Finally, sounding completely lost and vulnerable, the blond pig-tailed girl sighed and said "I don't know."

Bliss could see that it was an upsetting topic for Helga to ponder and that she wasn't likely to come to an answer anytime soon, so she asked "would you rather think it over later and move to a different topic for now"

"Yeah" said Helga sadly, "that's probably for the best."

Bliss paged through the notes she'd been taking over the course of the session, looking for other potentially important issues. Then she noticed something that she was curious about and that she thought might help her to understand both Helga and Arnold a little better. "You said earlier that you sometimes go to him for advice?"

Helga smiled affectionately. "Yeah, aside from you he's pretty much PS 118's go-to-person for solving problems. He's always helping people and giving them advice." She slipped into another one of her melodramatic monologues about how kind and wonderful Arnold was, how much she loved him for it, etc. Doctor Bliss privately thought it was sweet and cute, but it would take a bit of getting used to. Though she'd had patients with these types of issues before, she'd never seen any of them express their feelings quite like this. It made Helga unique. After Helga was done, Bliss asked her for examples of advice he'd given and problems he'd solved. Helga gave a very long and impressive list that included solving a teacher's union strike and saving a local coach's wedding.

"So what kinds of problems have _you _asked him for advice on, Helga?"

"Oh, mostly family problems" she replied. Doctor Bliss was slightly caught off guard by Helga's tone when she said this. The little girl's voice and had suddenly regained anger and resentment that she'd displayed for most of Tuesday's session but had seemingly abandoned for most of this one.

"Like what?" Bliss asked softly, having gathered that this was an easier topic for Helga to discuss than Arnold was, but also a topic that made her a lot less happy.

"Well" Helga continued in this more aggressive tone and she sprung from the couch and stomped around the room, "there was the time Miriam _finally _got off her lazy butt and got a job."

The psychologist raised an eyebrow. "Miriam?"

"My _mother_" Helga spat the word "mother" with disgust. "I often call my parents by their names. They haven't been much of a mom and dad to me, so why should I call them that?"

"But you did at our last session" Doctor Bliss observed.

"Yeah, well, sometimes I slip, okay!" she snapped. "I don't know why".

"Helga" Bliss said in her gentlest voice, hoping to soothe her patient. "There's no need to be hostile. I wasn't accusing you of anything, just trying to understand."

Helga felt a small sting of guilt, and returned to a gentler, more vulnerable tone for a moment. "Sorry, Doc", then the angry tone was back again "it's just that my family makes _so mad_!" she snarled those last two words as she kicked her therapist's desk drawer.

"Yes, we discussed that at great length during our last session. But why don't tell me this story about your mother getting a job?"

Helga practically ran laps around the room now, fuming the entire time. After a couple minutes of this, she only slightly less enraged, but ready to tell her story. "Ever heard of Big Bob's Beepers?"

"I believe I bought a beeper from that brand for my cousin a couple months back."

"Well then" Helga said in a mock congratulatory tone as she beat the crap out of the punching bag Bliss had got for her office for exactly these occasions, "I'm sure my dad would thank you for supporting his business. That is, of course, assuming he cares about his customers more than he does me, which isn't so hard!" She gave the punching bag an especially hard **WHACK**.

"Anyway, one day Bob had a back injury and couldn't run the company, so Miriam took over. At first, this seemed to be a good thing. She started packing me real lunches and helping me with my homework! But then" – she became visibly more infuriated as she told this part of the story – "she got so wrapped up in her precious little job that she noticed my existence _even less than she ever had before_!" She took several fast, angry breaths now, seeming to have forced all the air out of her lungs with the rage she'd already expressed. "So then she quits, says she's doing it so she can be a better mom but a couple days later" she gritted her teeth now, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.

Doctor Bliss gave her several more minutes to continue. She hoped that would be enough for Helga to release some of that anger, but instead she seemed to get worse, continuing to clench her teeth as tears continued rolling down and her little body shook with rage. Bliss' heart went out to her; whatever the next part of this story was, it was apparently painful enough to render her incapable of speech for some time, something that hadn't happened when she'd shared several other painful feelings. Desperately hoping that divulging it would make her patient feel better that she'd gotten it off her chest instead of worse, Bliss asked softly "what happened a couple days later, Helga?"

In a tiny voice- barely a whisper – Helga forced the information out. "Things went right back to the way they were before." That did it; Helga couldn't hold the tears in any longer. As far as Helga could remember, preschool had been the last time she'd let another human being see her tears. Since then, she hadn't even cried in a back alley or some other empty place where people might conceivably show up. Letting anyone see her cry would've made her feel too weak. But now, she bawled so loud it could almost be described as a shriek.

A sad Doctor Bliss brought Helga a box of tissues, and Helga pulled out five and went through them very quickly. "She really made me believe her" she said through her tears, "she said she was quitting so she could be there for me. I really thought things were going to get better for more than just a couple of days, but they didn't." This was the hardest part of Bliss' job; she'd chosen it for the sake of helping children, but occasionally it meant watching children suffer and not knowing how to console them; it was heartbreaking.

"I'm so sorry, Helga" she whispered with deep sadness in her voice. For the next twenty minutes, the only sounds in the room were the ticking clock and Helga's sobbing. Finally, a worn down Helga collapsed on the couch, and continued to whimper occasionally but was otherwise silent. When Bliss had originally brought this topic up, she'd thought that after Helga was done with the story about her mother, she'd ask her what advice Arnold had given and weather it she'd tried it. But the doctor hadn't realized what a sore spot the story was, and to continue this line of questioning now seemed like an almost cruel thing to do. Instead, she led Helga through a series of deep breathing exercises to help calm her down. It took about ten minutes, but eventually Helga seemed to feel better, at least enough to talk without crying.

"We don't have much time left, Helga" Bliss said regretfully, "would you like to talk about something that will make you feel better? It could be anything at all; we could talk about your favorite TV show if you'd like."

Helga gave a small, fond smile, thinking how lucky she was to have Phoebe and Doctor Bliss in her life. "I'm going over to Phoebe's house tonight. If we can get our homework done quickly enough, we might even manage to catch Wrestle Mania on TV."

"Phoebe" said Doctor Bliss thoughtfully, "that's a name I don't think I heard during our last session. Is she in your class?

"Yeah" Helga said affectionately, "she's my best friend." Then she gave it some thought and added sadly "my only friend, really. Or at least my only close friend, unless you count Arnold. I think most of the other kids only let me in the group because they're afraid of me."

Bliss looked puzzled. "The group?"

"I mean, the group of people I hang out with" Helga explained. "Arnold, Gerald, Harold, Sid, Stinky, Eugene, Pheobe, me; we play baseball together a lot and chase urban legends and stuff."

"How did you meet Phoebe?"

Helga smiled at the memory. "I saved her when she was being picked on in pre-school. Told some losers they'd better leave her alone if they didn't want their faces to meet Old Betsey and the Five Avengers." Anticipating her therapists' next question, she explained "that's what I named my fists." Bliss jotted that down in her notes. "Anyway" said Helga, "Pheebs is a complete brainiac, so hopefully with her help we can get all our homework done before they start airing tonight's match."

Helga and Bliss talked about Phoebe and wrestling for the rest of the session, then they said their goodbyes. "See you again Tuesday after school?" Doctor Bliss asked, checking to make sure Helga was available.  
Helga smiled; it hadn't been fun talking about some of these things, but she was glad they weren't all bottled up inside anymore. "Yeah, see ya then".


	3. Session III

Helga and Doctor Bliss discuss Helga's cynical worldview, her self-image, and things she's done in the past that she isn't proud of.

* * *

Total Word Count Of Post: 6,475

Story Word Count: 6,089

Published: 5-10-13

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**Unnecessarily Long And Precise Legal Disclaimer: Since you're reading this on fan fiction dot net, (I tried to write it as "fan fiction" and then actual dot in the legal disclaimers for the first two fics, but this site erased it from the text for some weird reason) it's probably obvious that I don't own the rights to **_**Hey Arnold**_** or any of its characters. I'm using these characters without permission, but I'm writing this purely for my own pleasure – not for the sake of copyright infringement – and therefore I wouldn't try to make money off this story even if someone were willing to pay for it, nor would I attempt to use it infringe on the profits of Nickelodeon or Viacom Incorporated.**

**Author's Note 1: Turns out I was wrong in my author's note for "Helga's Second Session" and there is one very brief scene in "Dino Checks Out" where we do see the characters in school. That being the case, I've decided that for the purposes of this series' time line, "Dino Checks Out" starts sometime after the Thursday of "Helga's Second Session" (I forget exactly how many days the episode takes place over) and continues into the Monday before the fic you're about to read ("Helga's Third Session"). **

"**Monkeyman" therefore starts the Tuesday night after this fic. Therefore, the opening scene of "Monkeyman" (where Monkeyman saves Arnold), happens the same Tuesday as this fic, though this fic happens in the afternoon of that day whereas "Monkeyman" opens in the evening of that day.**

**Author's Note 2: A warm thank you to Love and Happiness and acosta perez jose ramiro for letting me know you liked the second session, as well as to the people who decided to favorite or follow this series. I actually started writing the third one faster than I otherwise might have because of your response to the second one. Thanks also to acosta for bringing up a very interesting point which I address in this entry. And, finally, thanks to Poison Ivory for writing that great shipping essay and giving me advice about Helga's character and other **_**Hey Arnold **_**stuff.**

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Qwirky Productions

presents

a story based on a television series and set of characters that are all the creation of Craig Bartlet and intellectual property of Nickelodeon and Viacom

"Helga's Third Session"

Helga G. Pataki had been doing her usual routine in class that rainy Tuesday afternoon, throwing spitballs at Arnold and then quickly hiding it when he turned around and gave her an annoyed glare. As Mr. Simmons drew multiplication tables on the board and lightning flashed outside, Helga listened to the soft sound of the raindrops pouring onto the sidewalk, hoping it would calm her nerves slightly. She clasped her hands together tightly, dithering on whether or not to throw another spitball. Was there a limit to how many her love interest could take in one day before she'd pushed him too far and he finally came to resent her? It sure seemed unlikely given how patient he'd been with her most of the time up to this point, but it wasn't a risk she wanted to take.

_And yet _she thought, _it's a risk I keep taking it every single day. But if I stop picking on him, will he pay any attention to me at all?_ If one of the worst things she could plausibly imagine happening to make her life worse was Arnold resenting her (she couldn't imagine him actually _hating_ anyone, so her worst nightmares had to settle for resentment) the next worst would be for him to totally ignore her. But, she wondered, even she could suppress her true nature without feeling painfully fake, even if she could spend her whole life putting on an act of being nice like she did at that fashion show, would a non-bully Helga get any positive attention? She had from Arnold that one day in pre-school, but he hadn't known her very well at the time, most of her other classmates gave her negative attention, and the people who knew her best – her own family – didn't think she was interesting enough to pay attention to at all.

The blood-boiling thought had her crunching several more pieces of paper into tiny balls to throw at Arnold. As she launched her next seven spitballs, a thought suddenly occurred to her; how much of her mistreatment of Arnold was really due to fear that it was the only way to get his attention? She remembered telling Doctor Bliss five days ago that she was mean to Arnold so he could never figure out that she was in love with him, but now she wondered if there was more to it that just that. Could she have a whole bunch of motives for the ways she behaved that she'd never been consciously aware of before?

She rubbed her forehead in exasperation. What did it matter? Whatever her reasons for being who she was, she'd never change. No matter how much she might sometimes wish she could be kind like Arnold or girly like Lila or confident like Olga, she would never be any of those things.  
Then again, Doctor Bliss seemed to know what she was doing, and she apparently thought it was possible, at least, for Helga to tone down her meanness. Hadn't she said they were going to "discuss these anti-social tendencies and examine strategies for improvement" or something like that? Helga fiercely believed in the old "be yourself" message, and she couldn't imagine Bliss encouraging her to betray that ideal. So did that mean she really could someday learn to show _sincere _kindness? Maybe even become one percent as admirable as her football-headed idol without feeling like she was putting on act? Or was her psychologist just being overly optimistic?

A small, fond smile crossed Helga's face at that point. Whether or not Bliss could really help her change herself or her life, it was nice to have someone she felt completely comfortable talking to who would actually listen, even if she was being paid by the school to do it. Helga looked forward to seeing her kindly confidante again after school today.

* * *

Helga slipped into her trench coat again as the bus drew closer to the Hillwood Medical Center. She got some odd looks from the other passengers, as she always did, but she knew that snapping at them or threatening them would just draw even more attention to her, which was the last thing she wanted. Besides, the odds were slim but not impossible that someone on this bus might know one of her classmates, or know someone who knew one of them, or might otherwise be connected to one of them in a "six degrees of Kevin Bacon" fashion. Sure, she thought, she was being paranoid, but how many of the other kids would still be afraid of a girl who went to therapy? They'd probably laugh at her. The memory of That Day in pre-school came back to her for a moment, the pain, helplessness and humiliation she felt when the other kids laughed at her for liking Arnold. She brushed the thought off quickly, not wanting to deal with the upsetting memory right now.

No sooner had her feet left the last step off the bus and touched down on the sidewalk then she froze in place. Eugene was skateboarding down the sidewalk, singing "Look Up". Helga clenched her teeth and her heart pounded at lightning speed as she silently prayed that her disguise would work, or better yet, that Eugene wouldn't turn his head and see she was there. Before long, he'd passed off in the distance, and she heard the far off sounds of a yell, a crash, and a cheerful "I'm okay!" With a sigh of relief, she darted into the lobby.

* * *

The lobby was still bland-looking, and Helga moved through it to the elevator as fast as she could, not even noticing the guy at the desk raising an eyebrow at her before glancing back down at his paperwork.

* * *

Doctor Bliss sat in her office, knowing Helga was her next patient and feeling conflicted about how to approach this session. During their last session five days ago, Helga talked about how her mother – "Miriam" according to Bliss' notes – had briefly gotten a job and made Helga feel less neglected, then more neglected than ever before, then quit her job supposedly to spend more time with Helga but went back to her usual treatment of her within a couple of days. Bliss suspected that discussing these events again in greater detail might give her more information about the mother-daughter dynamic between Helga and Miriam. Some of it might even be info that Helga would never think to mention otherwise but which could be very useful in helping her cope with her feelings of rejection or even improve her relationship with Miriam. She also wanted to ask what advice Arnold had given her about the situation and whether Helga had followed it or not, since she now suspected there was a lot she didn't know about Helga's relationship with Arnold. But the last time Helga had talked about this particular episode of her life, she'd made it clear that it was an especially upsetting one and perhaps one she hadn't been ready to talk about.

Maybe it'd be easier for her if she waited a couple of weeks, but the longer they waited, the more likely it was that Helga would forget some of the details. Then again, the psychologist thought, surely there were other ways to get the information she was looking for, she'd just have a harder time figuring out what to ask. She tapped her pencil on her desk several times, knowing that she didn't have much more time to ponder this before starting the session. If Helga wasn't out in the waiting room right now, she would be in the next couple of minutes. She flipped through her notes again and sighed at the thought of how sad Helga's life really was. It reminded her how lucky she'd been as a child to have loving parents and a small but close group of friends.

Granted, her friends had plenty of drama with her and with each other, they'd mostly bonded over all of them being outcasts, and her parents had been a dysfunctional couple. In fact, the many hard times, problems, and painful memories of her childhood had played a large role in her adulthood interest in helping children, which in turn led her to become a child psychologist. Nevertheless, there'd been a lot of good times in her childhood mixed in with the bad ones, and she considered her childhood a lot better than what many of her young patients told her about their current lives, including Helga. Truth be told, some of the stories Helga had told about her family made Doctor Bliss very angry on Helga's behalf, but she remained professional and didn't express that anger during sessions.

The more Bliss thought about what Helga was going through, and how hard it probably was for Helga to trust people, the more she strongly she came to feel that being careful not risk the trust she'd earned from Helga last week was more important that whatever information she hoped to glean from asking Helga to talk again about Miriam getting a job. She'd still ask Helga if she wanted to talk about it again, of course, but she wouldn't recommend they talk about it if Helga was at all reluctant. Occasionally, giving a child a small nudge to discuss something they were anxious about discussing proved beneficial to them afterwards, leaving them glad they'd discussed it after all, but Bliss doubted that this was one of those times.  
She heard a knock on the door then, and opened it to find Helga standing outside. "Come in, Helga" Bliss said warmly, and Helga smiled at her and took a seat on the couch. "How have you been lately?" asked Bliss.

"Same as usual" Helga replied glumly, "or maybe a little worse, since _Olga_'s coming back in two weeks". As usual, resentment dripped from her voice as she said Olga's name. Then she asked "what's the name of that loser washed-up singer who faked his death a couple days ago?"

"You mean Dino Spumoni?" asked Bliss.

"Yeah, him" replied Helga, before switching to her affectionate monologue tone. "I heard him on the news saying that Arnold helped him. That was the highlight of my weekend! Oh, my wonderful bizarrely-headed little angel! What a king of kindness he is, always going out of his way to improve the lives of others! Giving so much to the people around him and never asking anything in return! If only I could reward him with the love he truly deserves! If only I could kiss the lips on the football-shaped head that brings so much peace and warmth to my dreams!"

"I take it you admire Arnold's kindness and habit of helping others?" Bliss asked with a hint of warm amusement in her voice.

"Oh, yes!" exclaimed Helga, still using her monologue voice. "Those are the things I most love about him! Ever since that day I first met him in pre-school, I've almost never seen him be anything but kind to me and everyone around him! Even though I torture him with hurtful words and humiliating pranks, he never stops being there for me when I really need him!"

Doctor Bliss saw a good opening for approaching the subject she'd been leery of tackling again after Thursday's session. "You said at our last session that Arnold gives you advice about your family troubles".

"Yeah" Helga affirmed in a much sadder, quieter voice.

"There's a question I'd like to ask you, Helga." Bliss used her gentlest tone, hoping not to scare Helga by bringing this topic up again. "If you'd rather not answer it, if it's just too much right now for you to talk about this, that's okay, but I want to ask." Helga nodded, inviting Bliss to keep going. "Do you feel comfortable telling me what advice Arnold gave you about the time Miriam took over Big Bob's Beepers?"

Helga stared at Bliss' Edward Hopper painting for a couple minutes, her mind going numb. She could hear the ticking of the clock as she breathed slowly, trying to find it in her to answer Doctor Bliss' question. The psychologists' voice brought her back to reality. "If you're not ready to talk about it, that's okay".

But Helga finally answered "when I first told him that things were worse than ever, because Miriam cared more about her job than me, he said I should just talk to her and tell her how I felt".

"And what did you think of that advice, Helga?" asked Bliss.

"I thought that Arnold doesn't understand that my parents never listen to what I have to say" replied Helga.

"So you knew his advice wasn't going to work?" asked Bliss.

"I thought it probably wasn't going to, but I tried it anyway" said Helga.

"And what happened?"

"She didn't listen at first; she said I was interrupting a commercial she was trying to shoot. So I ran out of the studio, but then she came after me and said she was going to quit so she could be a better mom. And she was for the next couple days, but then she went back to normal. Arnold actually came up to me a couple days later at school and asked me what was wrong."

"He could tell there was something wrong?"

"Yeah, he said I was being even meaner than usual to the other kids, and he heard about me beating up Brainy way worse than usual, so he figured I must be really upset about something."

A concerned look crossed Bliss' face then at hearing that Helga still assaulted Brainy, but she decided not to change the topic yet. "Did you tell him Miriam had returned to her usual level of neglectfulness?" Helga nodded. "And what did he say?" Bliss asked next.

"He was all silent for a moment" Helga said in a sad but also distant voice, as if she were visualizing the memory and practically re-living it as she recounted it. "And then he just said 'I'm sorry, Helga'. That was _all _he said. He didn't have any advice this time." Helga's voice got quieter then, softer and more vulnerable. "I think that was the worst part. I felt like my situation must be especially hopeless if even Arnold didn't know what do. Arnold _always _knows what to do."

"Helga," Bliss said softly but firmly, "your situation is _not _hopeless. Your life _will _get better." Helga jumped off the couch, ran up to her psychologist and gave her a tight hug. Bliss smiled; it was always pleasant to get a sign of affection from her little patients, not only because affection from someone else was a nice thing to have, but also because it meant that she'd made a positive difference in a child's life. This particular hug seemed to be about as tight as a nine-year-old was capable of and lasted for about twenty seconds before Helga let go and went back to the couch.

"Doctor Bliss, why are most people so…cold?" asked Helga.

"Is that really what you believe, Helga?" Bliss asked sadly.

"Well, doi!" Helga spat with obvious pain and exasperation as she suddenly leapt off the couch again. "It's true, isn't it?"

"It's not how I see the world" Bliss replied in a gentle, soothing tone.

` Helga angrily paced back and forth. "I guess you must have no sense of reality, like Arnold."

"Why do you think that, Helga?"

"It's just how things are, doc!" Helga's voice was rising, now. "I mean, sure, there are exceptions, like you and Phoebe and Arnold, but most people are just awful! The only reason my life isn't even worse is because I'm so much meaner than most people that they're too afraid to walk all over me!" She panted with rage and heartache, and then let out several long, ear-shattering screams for the next couple minutes until she wore herself down and plopped back on the couch.

* * *

Some little boy opened the door to ask if everything was okay, but Bliss assured him that it was and Helga snapped at him to get out, so he closed the door and sat back down again in the waiting room. Downstairs, several people heard a faint scream and wondered what it could possibly be. At Dino Land, Arnold asked Gerald if he'd heard something, and Gerald shook his head.

* * *

"Would you like to know what I think, Helga?" Bliss asked back in her office.

"Sure" Helga said unenthusiastically.

"I think there are a lot more decent and good people in the world than you believe, but it's hard for you to see that because your experiences with people have been mostly negative."

"You sound just like Arnold" Helga scoffed without much energy.

_That's the second time she's compared me to Arnold, _thought Bliss, greatly intrigued now. _I wonder what that means_. Out loud, very curious as to what the answer would be, she asked "do you consider that a positive thing, or a negative thing?"

Helga moaned with frustration "oh, I don't know. Sometimes I really admire Arnold's optimism, and sometimes I think it's really stupid, and sometimes I feel both ways at the same time."

"Why do you think that is, Helga?" This led to a couple minutes of silence. "Helga?"

"I'm thinking, doc, I'm thinking!" Several more minutes of silence as the clock ticked and a car whooshed by outside. Then, finally, Helga answered "I guess it seems like Arnold sees a lot more good in the world than I do. And I want to believe he's right, but I don't think he is. Sometimes I'd love to have no sense of reality like he does, because reality stinks! I'd love to only see the best in people, but that's just not who I am."

"What do you mean by 'that's just not who' you are?" asked Bliss.

"I mean just that" said Helga. "I'm a cynical, distrustful person. That's just who I am. I can't change it, can I?"

How interesting, Bliss thought, that Helga could be such a deep thinker for someone her age and yet come to such puzzling conclusions. "You believe it's impossible for a person to change who they are?"

"I know they can change how they _act _on the outside" explained Helga, "but that doesn't change who they really _are _on the inside. I remember this one time I started acting nice to… get out something I didn't want to do", she decided she didn't want to get off track and recount the story of her fashion contract "and it worked. And then Arnold asked me why I couldn't act nice all the time. So I told him 'I'm mean and nasty and insensitive. That's who I am; it's what makes me special.'"

"Are you happy being nasty on both the inside and outside?" asked Bliss.

"What does it matter?" shrugged Helga. "Like I said, I don't think I can change what's on the inside. And when I was acting different on the outside, I felt really fake."

"But are you _happy _with being nasty on the inside, Helga?" asked Bliss. "If you _could _change that aspect of who you are on the inside, would you?"  
Helga furrowed her brow in concentration, honestly considering the question, and then finally said "I guess I'm not sure. There are times when I think I would change it if I could, but then there are other times when I'd rather stay the way I am."

"Have you noticed anything else about those times, anything about the times when you'd like to change that's different from the times when you don't want to change?"

"Well…I usually want to be kinder after I've seen Arnold do something kind. Actually, sometimes just seeing him _period _is enough to make me wish I were a better person."

"Are there other circumstances that make you wish you were kinder?"

"Sometimes it happens after I've done something really terrible. I mean, sometimes I've done things a lot worse than just being mean, and then I feel really guilty, and sometimes that makes me reflect on myself in general and wish I could be nicer."

" What sorts of worse things have you done, Helga?"

Helga grimaced, "well, there was this one time I got Phoebe to throw a competition that would've gotten her into the City Academic Bowl. That was the one contest _Olga _never won, so I figured it was my chance to impress Bob."

"Did you win the Academic Bowl?"

"Nah, at the last minute I felt guilty and let Phoebe take my place. There was this other time…it was when _Lila _first came to school" her voice suddenly turned a lot more biter, "I helped the other girls play a mean prank on her. We all felt bad about that one when we found out she and her father were basically dirt poor, so we apologized, although now I wish we'd just let her suffer!" Bliss was taking notes as Helga spoke, and she made sure to jot down that Helga obviously held a great deal of resentment towards this Lila girl. And if it was the same Lila that Bliss suspected it was, she had a pretty good guess as to where the resentment was coming from.

Helga spent the next several minutes discussing some of the things she felt most guilty about doing. "But the worst thing I've done…" there was more pained guilt in her voice now than Bliss had ever heard before. Whatever it was her patient was about to discuss, she clearly did think it was the worst thing she'd ever done.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Helga" Bliss assured her. "But if you'd like to get if off your chest, I'm not going to judge you for it, whatever it is. I'm here to help you, not make you feel bad."

Helga seriously considered not talking about it, but now that she'd touched the subject, holding it in felt pretty bad too. "Well, my dad hired this babysitter one time" she explained, "and I really hated her. She was always trying to tell me what to do, even what I could wear, and I so desperate to get my freedom back that I…" More anguish poured into her voice as she spoke, and she stopped again, waiting another couple minutes until she felt ready to say it. Finally, sounding almost like she might cry for the second time in two sessions if she got any more upset, she said "I framed her for stealing something from Bob and got her fired."

For a moment, that made the room deathly quiet except for the ticking of the clock again. "I felt horrible about it afterwards…well, after Arnold made me realize how horrible it was." Her voice was so quiet now that Bliss strained to her it. "Actually, Arnold's been there a lot of times when I've done something extra-bad, and he gives me a lecture about how I shouldn't have done it. Usually it's a really nice, patient, non-judgmental lecture, but it guilts me anyway, and then I try to undo what I did. When I told him about what I did to Inge, though, he was really mad at me."  
"Is Inge the babysitter's name?" Bliss checked.

Helga blinked. "Yeah".

"And how could you tell Arnold was angry at you?"

"Just his tone, the look on his face, the way he said 'I can't believe you would do that.' After I realized he was right, I asked Inge if she'd be able to get another job, but she said no one around here would hire her now because everyone thinks she's a thief. I _really _wanted to make up for that one, but it was too late. There was nothing I could do. Last I heard she'd gone back to her home country. She sent me a post card."

"Okay, so you've done a lot of things that you now realize you shouldn't have done" Bliss said, "can you think of anything you've learned from those experiences?"

"I've learned that I never wanna do anything that bad again" replied Helga. "And I've learned that Arnold has this _annoying_ ability to turn my conscience on when I least want it but most need it."

"I've noticed that in all the cases you mentioned, you tried to make up for it later."

"Yeah"

"Well, I think that's a very good thing, Helga. You're able to learn from your mistakes and admit when you're wrong. I've known many people your age or even my age who can't do that."

"So, I don't sound like an awful person after all those things I just admitted to doing?" Helga asked, sounding honestly surprised.

"Everyone has their flaws, Helga" Bliss assured her gently "but for a nine-year-old, you seem to be very good at recognizing your own flaws and even making amends for some of the more severe ones. I think you should be proud of yourself for that."

Helga brightened a little. "Thanks, doc."

"And if you decide that you want to improve yourself further, it's part of my job to help you with that. I've helped a lot of other children through that process."

"So" Helga asked hopefully, "it _is _possible for people to change who they really are on the inside?"

"I think if you really want it, and you're patient enough to toward it gradually, yes, it's possible."

A little more glumly, Helga asked "I don't suppose you think my parents will ever change? I mean, _really _change and not just act different for a couple days?"

"I think it would be possible if they honesty decided that they wanted to change, but first they'd have to realize why the change is important."

"Is there anything I can do to make them realize?"

"Have you tried talking to them about it?"

"I've tried talking to them about all kinds of things for most of my life! They won't even listen when it's something as simple as 'mom, could you please pack me some actual food for lunch!'"

Doctor Bliss sighed sympathetically, wishing she could be more helpful. Ultimately, it was up to Bob and Miriam to change their behavior. If they refused to even communicate with their own daughter, all Bliss could do was help Helga cope. "Would you like to schedule a family therapy session?"

"I don't know what good it would do" Helga said miserably. "They probably still won't listen, assuming they even show up."

"Would you like to try?" Bliss asked.

Helga shrugged and said "sure" without much enthusiasm.

"What's your father's number?"

"Oh, don't bother calling him right now." Helga advised Bliss, "he never the answers the phone when he's at work. You should try calling our house number sometime after eight."

"Is Miriam mother home before eight?"

"Her body is, but I think what little brain she has is off in smoothie land."

"Alright then, I'll call your house sometime after eight." Bliss glanced over her notes. "Do you still sock Brainy?"

Helga sighed, having not looked forward to when this topic was brought up again. "What am I supposed to do? He's always standing right behind me, breathing loudly! I wouldn't sock him if he'd just leave me alone!"

"Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"Why should I? Shouldn't socking him be enough for him to get the message? He deserves it!"

"Helga, physical aggression is a very unhealthy and harmful way to express your anger. Besides, what if you punch too hard one day and send him to the hospital? Do you really want that kind of guilt?"

Helga sighed with exasperation and reluctantly said "no."

"Good. So what do you think are some other ways you could resolve this situation with Brainy?

"I guess I could try talking to him."

"Anything else?"

"I could threaten him without actually socking him. Then again, he might eventually realize I don't mean it anymore."

"Any other ideas?"

"No"

"I think you should try talking to him" Doctor Bliss said with a tad bit more firmness in her voice than usual, but only a tad, "and if that still doesn't work you should talk to a teacher."

"But it doesn't just happen at school! It happens everywhere!"

"Everywhere?" Bliss asked, wondering how that was possible.

"Well, okay, not literally _everywhere_" Helga admitted, "but it sure feels that way sometimes!" she went into angry rant mode. "It's happened when I'm not at school. It's happened in alleyways, and on a bridge, pretty much anytime I'm in a public place. I make a speech about my love for Arnold, and _poof_, there's Brainy, just _suddenly_ there even if I tried to make sure I was alone first. I don't know how he does it, but I want him to _cut it out_!" Then, to really drive the point home, she spent the next twenty minutes listing all the places she could remember Brainy popping up behind her over the course of the past six years, her voice getting more and more infuriated as she went.

"This only happens after one of your Arnold speeches?" asked Bliss.

"Yeah" said Helga slowly, as though just giving this some thought and wondering what it meant.

Bliss wondered about it herself, but she quickly brought her mind back to the problem at hand. "Well, Helga, I still think you should try talking to him about it. If he keeps harassing you after that, I want you to tell me about it. If all else fails, I'll get his parents' number from the school administration and talk to them about dealing with their son's behavior."

"Okay" Helga said casually, though she privately thought that she didn't owe Brainy a talk and there was no reason not to keep punching him.

"Was there anything else you wanted to talk about, Helga?"

"Well, there's this thing Inge said to me the last time I talked to her. I've been thinking about it a lot, actually."

"What did she say?"

"She said 'you're such an angry little girl, Helga, but you won't let anyone help you.'"

However long Inge had babysat Helga before getting fired, Bliss thought, she either must've been very perceptive or gotten to know Helga pretty well to make such a spot-on assessment. Granted, the part about not letting _anyone _help wasn't entirely true, but given how defensive she'd been during their first session, the kind of life she'd led, the fact that she called Arnold and Phoebe her only friends and her description of herself as a "cynical, untrusting person", the psychologist suspected that Helga didn't allow very many people to help her. Out loud, though, she simply asked "and what did you think of that?"

"Well, at the time I really hated her for saying it" admitted Helga, "but the more I think about it, the more I think she meant well. She just doesn't get that there's not much help other people can give me."

"And what makes you say that?"

"Well, if I went to most people with my problems, they'd just walk all over me. Like I said before, that's what most people are like. And even the people who aren't like that can't change my family."

"Do you think there are other ways people could help you besides changing your family or listening to your problems?"

"No"

"What about Phoebe? Does she help you in any way?"

"Yeah" Helga said affectionately, "just by being my friend, she's a big help."

"Do you think it would help you at all to have more friends?" asked Bliss. "During our first session, you mentioned that you were lonely."

"Maybe it'd help" said Helga, "but hardly anyone likes me."

Bliss felt her heart go out to Helga at the depressed way she said that. "And why do you think that is?" she asked softly.

"I'm mean and ugly, not very talented, and I'm a girl but not very feminine."

"Are all of those things how you see yourself, or just how you think others see you?"

"Both".

"You know, Helga, Mister Simmons has shown me some of your class work, including your poetry. You sure seem talented to me. He says your score on the career test indicates that you can have your pick of occupations when you reach adulthood."

"Yeah" Helga said, remembering, "he _did _say that, didn't he?"

"He also says the anonymous poems you've turned in are some of the best work in the class."

Helga stared at her. "He said _that_?"

"Yes, he did Helga. He's quite pleased with you as a student." Helga smiled. "Now Helga, about this 'unfeminine' thing, what does it mean to you to be feminine?"

"Oh you know, caring about make-up and clothes, not playing sports, being sweet and non-confrontational."

"Does it bother you that you aren't any of those things?"

"Well, sometimes" said Helga, "and other times I actually _like _not being those things. I don't know, I guess I can be happy not being those things a lot of the time, at least for now, but I think it's part of the reason the other girls don't wanna spend time with me. I remember this one time Rhonda Wellington Lloyd had a slumber party and invited every girl in our class except me."

"I'll bet that hurt your feelings a lot" Bliss said sympathetically.

"Yeah, it did" said Helga. "Which is weird, because most of the time I _really _don't care about getting Rhonda's approval. I mean, she's a complete snob!" her voice grew resentful again. "She's gotta be the most shallow person in our entire class, maybe even the entire school…well, except maybe _Lila_, but still."

_Lila again _thought Doctor Bliss, _maybe we should discuss her at some point. I wonder if Helga's referring to Lila Sawyer_. Out loud, though, she stuck with the topic at hand. "Why do you think it is that not being invited to that party offended you so much when your opinion of Rhonda is so low?"  
"Well, I don't think most of the other girls cared that I wasn't coming, so I guess that may've been part of it."

"Any other reasons you can think of?"

Helga thought for a moment. "Not really"

"I wonder" Bliss theorized "if maybe you wanted Rhonda's approval, even if only subconsciously."

"But why would I want that from someone like _her_, even subconsciously?"

"Maybe subconsciously, your low opinion of her is _because _you resent her for not giving you her approval? Of course, having someone else's approval usually feels good, so maybe you just want more people to like and approve of you, no matter who they might be."

Helga sighed in a depressed fashion. "I hate to admit it, but that second one sounds about right."

"Do you think you would see yourself as ugly or untalented if other people didn't see you that way?" asked Bliss.

Helga was mildly surprised by that question. "I, uh, I don't know" she said.

"What if every time you had those thoughts, you had a bunch of positive thoughts to counteract them? Do you think that would make you feel better?"  
Helga shrugged. "Maybe"

"What are some things that you like about yourself, Helga?"

"Well, let's see…I don't take lip from anyone! If someone insults Helga G. Pataki, I show them who's boss!"

"Good. What else?"

"Well, apparently I _am _very talented. Uh, I'm a good baseball player. I'm capable of absolutely devoted love…" Over the next eleven minutes, Helga came up with things she liked about herself with some suggestions and help from Doctor Bliss, who jotted them down. Bliss then folded the list up and handed it to Helga.

"Next time you're thinking hurtful things about yourself, you can remind yourself of any of these things. They're all written down there in case you forget any of them."

Helga smiled again, something Bliss was beginning to cherish for its sad rareness. "Thanks, doc."

"Is there anything else you wanted to discuss today, Helga?"

"No, can't think of anything" she replied honestly.

"Then I'll see you at the same time Thursday?" asked Doctor Bliss.

"Yeah, that should work." Said Helga.

* * *

Helga cheerfully made her way back to the lobby and slipped back into her trench coat. She was sure she could get used to having a safe place to let her thoughts and feelings out.


	4. Session IV

Helga and Doctor Bliss discuss Helga's relationship with Olga.

* * *

Total Word Count Of Post: 6,252

Story Word Count: 5,598

Published: 6-12-13

* * *

**Unnecessarily Long And Precise Legal Disclaimer: Since you're reading this on fan fiction dot net, (I tried to write it as "fan fiction" and then actual dot in the legal disclaimers for the first two fics, but this site erased it from the text for some weird reason) it's probably obvious that I don't own the rights to **_**Hey Arnold**_** or any of its characters. I'm using these characters without permission, but I'm writing this purely for my own pleasure – not for the sake of copyright infringement – and therefore I wouldn't try to make money off this story even if someone were willing to pay for it, nor would I attempt to use it infringe on the profits of Nickelodeon or Viacom Incorporated.**

**Author's Note 1: This session takes place on the same Thursday as the start of the montage in "Monkeyman" when Arnold is introducing the titular character into mainstream society. I've decided the scenes where Arnold tells his classmates about Monkeyman, waits for him at the docks, and invites him over to dinner and then ice cream happen on Wednesday (the day after "Helga's Third Session" and the beginning of the Monkeyman episode and the day before the session you're about to read) and the montage begins Thursday night (several hours after the session you're about to read).**

**Author's Note 2: Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to the family session, but I couldn't think of a way the Patakis could go to family therapy without them finally wising up a bit about how they've treated Helga. I need them not to wise up yet so this series can fit with season 4 of the show. I might still write a stand-alone fic about the Patakis going to family therapy, though (by "stand-alone" I mean not in the same continuity as the "Helga's Sessions" series). I've also got plans for spin-off fics that will be part of the same continuity as this series but will also work on their own, so stay tuned! In the meantime, if you want a fic about the Patakis going to family therapy, there's already one by Abby called…well "Family Therapy". It's sadly unfinished, but the part of it that did get written and posted is worth reading. I promise that if I write a fic with the same premise, I'll make sure to finish the whole thing before I post it.**

**Author's Note 3: 6 positive reviews, 8 follows, and 3 favorites? Yahooooooooooo! Thank you all so much! I'm sorry I didn't get this finished and out to you, my kind fans, sooner, but I got a nasty headache which made it very hard to write, and then other stuff in life got in the way, and then when I finally could write, it took a HECK of a lot longer to write than I thought it would.**

**Author's Note 4: If you go to my profile (just click my pen name at the top of this page – y'know, the link that says "unusual individual") you'll find a link to a post I put in the forums explaining the timeline of the "Helga's Sessions" series and how it intertwines with the fourth season of "Hey Arnold" (In other words, which episodes of the show take place before, after, or at the same time as which stories in this series. Same info that's in the author's notes, but now you can have it all in one place). It goes a little bit into parts of this series that I haven't written yet, and I'll be updating it as I write and post more.**

* * *

Qwirky Productions

presents

a story based on a television series and set of characters that are all the creation of Craig Bartlet and intellectual property of Nickelodeon and Viacom

"Helga's Fourth Session"

Doctor Bliss bid farewell to her patient and went back to her desk. She sat down, took a sip of coffee, and looked over her schedule, finding that her next patient was Helga Pataki. She sighed with sadness and frustration; two evenings ago she'd called Bob Pataki to discuss setting up a family session, and she'd found herself jolting the phone away from her ear as he yelled loud enough to wake the dead about how real Patakis had nothing wrong with them and didn't need therapy. Once he stopped shouting, it took all her professionalism not to express her anger on Helga's behalf, her anger on behalf of all her other patients for Bob's implication that there was something "wrong with them" for needing her help, or her personal resentment at hearing such close-minded stigma against her occupation.

But this occupation required a great deal of professionalism, and she had more than enough to stay friendly and polite and not express any of the unpleasant emotions she was feeling in that moment. She calmly tried to explain to Helga's father that therapy was simply a tool for overcoming challenges and that using family therapy to communicate with one's family was no more a bad thing than using a hammer to pound nails. She'd hoped this analogy would help Mr. Pataki understand, but it just provoked another loud rant, this one filled with some rather colorful expletives, and then he hung up before she could get another word in.

She'd never met the man and her chances of ever doing so seemed much more doubtful now than they had before, but he'd certainly sounded and acted about how she'd expected from Helga's descriptions; loud, aggressive, and difficult to reason with. But then, that was probably how most of her classmates viewed Helga herself, and Bliss knew that Helga had another side besides that one. Quite likely, she thought, there was also another side to Bob, if only he would show it to his youngest daughter. _I just hope I didn't get Helga into trouble _she thought with concern.  
Whatever happened at the Pataki household after that phone call, she knew she'd probably find out soon, as the clock showed that it was time for Helga's appointment. She opened the door and sure enough, Helga walked in and took her seat on the couch, looking even more glum than usual. "Hello, Helga" Bliss said gently, "how are you?" She was pretty sure she knew the answer to that question already, but she wanted to ask it in a way that wouldn't make the poor little girl feel even worse.

"Rotten" Helga replied resentfully, "Bob gave me one of his trademark trophy room angry lectures last night."

Bliss raised an eyebrow. "Angry trophy room lectures?"

"Yeah" Helga explained "there's this room filled with shelf after shelf after shelf full of _Olga's _trophies, and whenever Bob's mad at me he sends me there and blows up at me about how mad he is."

"What was he mad about?" Bliss asked, though she had a pretty good guess. She even felt a twinge of guilt for a moment, but quickly reminded herself that she'd honestly been trying to help Helga and Bob's reaction wasn't her fault.

"Your phone call" Helga said with weary, casual sadness. Then, with more resentful and snide tone, she continued "He had this big spiel about how Patakis aren't supposed to need therapy, and I'm not dragging the rest of our family down with me, and I need to keep my mouth shut in front of 'the shrink' from now on, and something about how Olga would've handled the situation instead…I think there was more after that, but I just tuned him out."

"So I take it he's not planning on coming to a family therapy session, then?" Bliss confirmed disappointedly.

"No"

"What about Miriam?

"She agreed with Bob and then said that she needed a smoothie, so I'm pretty sure she's not coming, either."

"I'm sorry, Helga."

"Eh, not your fault, Doc."

"I hope you understand that whatever your parents say, this isn't something to be ashamed of. Therapy's just a tool and it's meant to help you."

"I know" Helga assured her.

"So what else has happened in your life, lately?"

"Well, Arnold told me and the rest of the gang a weird story at recess yesterday."

"A weird story about what?"

"He says a guy named Monkeyman saved him from being mugged."

"Is he connected in some way to the man they called Pigeon Man?" asked Doctor Bliss.

"You know about Pigeon Man?" Helga asked with mild surprise. Sid always claimed Gerald's stories had been passed down "from kid generation to kid generation", so she'd always assumed that only kids knew about them.

"The legends you kids like to pass around come up in sessions occasionally" she replied truthfully. She thought back to some of the other eccentric children she'd counseled and the even more eccentric people some of them said existed according to the legends. In retrospect, Helga's confession of making bubblegum sculptures of Arnold no longer seemed as odd to her as it had during their first session.

"Well, apparently this one wasn't just a legend. I saw Arnold and Monkeyman having ice cream together last night. And no, I don't think he's connected to Pigeon Man in any way. You'd have to ask Gerald to be sure, though. He's the expert on this stuff."

"And do you feel something particularly strongly about Arnold having ice cream with Monkeyman?" Bliss asked curiously.

"Well, he said he was doing it to thank him for saving him, so it reminded me again – as if I needed another reminder – how thoughtful and kind and considerate my football-headed love god is!" Helga said in her "I love Arnold" monologue voice before sighing happily.

"Any other thoughts on Arnold and Monkeyman?" Bliss asked.

"No, it's just something that happened in my life and you asked me what's going on in my life lately."

Bliss could see that this wasn't likely to lead anywhere they hadn't gone before, so she changed topics. "Is there anything else happening in your life that you'd like to talk about?"

"Well" Helga replied, her voice resentful again, "if you've got any tips on how I could survive _Olga's _visit in two weeks, I'd love to hear them."

"Why do you think Olga's visit will be hard for you to survive?" asked Bliss.

"Like I've said before, whenever she comes over, I'm pushed even _further _than usual into the darkest corners of Bob and Miriam's brains because I'm not _perfect _like she is!" Helga snarled with a pained edge to her voice. This was the point where Bliss usually would've asked Helga if she'd tried talking to her parents about it, but after Helga's answer to a similar question during their last session and Bob's reaction to being asked to attend family therapy for Helga's sake, Bliss figured the answer was obvious by now and that Helga would say so. Instead, she asked if Helga had tried talking to Olga about it. "Why should I talk to that _witch_ about the evil she's doing?" Helga spat, "I'm sure she knows!"

"Has she ever told you that she knows?" asked Doctor Bliss.

"She did once say that I must think she's lucky for all the attention she gets from them."

"Does she understand that your parents rarely pack you edible lunches or that your father often calls you Olga's name?"

"She has to!" Helga insisted, "Doesn't she?"

"I don't know, Helga" Bliss replied calmly, "I haven't met any of your family, but from what you've told me, it's not clear to me whether or not Olga realizes the degree to which you're being neglected."

Helga sat up on the couch, clasping her hands together between her legs and staring down at them. Sadly, she said "Well, even if she doesn't, it's not like I'll ever get her to listen. She's only slightly more responsive than Bob and Miriam."

"Slightly more responsive in what sense?"

"Well, she acknowledges my existence more than Bob and Miriam do, but she still doesn't listen to what I have to say. I remember this one time when she became a student teacher at my class. She _said _she wanted us to be closer sisters" Helga had stood up and was pacing back and forth now, trying to blow off some of her excess angry energy. "So I said 'okay, but we need to establish some boundaries', but she's like" Helga did an unflattering impression of Olga's sugary high-pitched voice "'oh no, baby sister, that's not necessary. I'd never do anything to embarrass you.' And what does she do the very next day in class?" she was seething with rage now at the memory "She tells everyone a _humiliating _story about how I was…" she stopped for a moment, tensing up even further from embarrassment as she remembered the story.

"How you were…?" asked Bliss. Not for the first time in a therapy session with Helga, the room became silent save for the clock ticking. "I'm sorry Helga; you don't have to share whatever that story was if you don't want to. But remember that if you ever decide you do want to share it with me, I'll keep it in confidence, just like everything else we talk about. No one besides the two of us will ever know."

Helga sighed and grumbled "I was bed wetter till age seven."

"Was that difficult to say out loud?"

"Yes!"

"Well, it's natural, Helga. None of us are born with the ability to control those parts of our body when we're asleep, and there's no set age by which everyone has managed it…"

"I know, I know!" Helga yelled hurriedly, feeling quite anxious to drive the conversation away from this topic as quickly as possible.

"I had the same problem until I was twelve" Bliss said truthfully.

That caught Helga completely off guard, and she stared up at her psychologist with bulging eyes and asked "Really?"

"Yes, really" Bliss assured her.

"How can you talk about it now so…easily? I mean, you don't sound embarrassed or ashamed or anything!"

"Well, it was very embarrassing at the time. But I survived it, no one got hurt, and it wasn't the end of the world. These things happen."

"I guess" Helga said unconvinced as she returned to the couch.

"So whatever happened with Olga as your student teacher?"

Helga sighed with frustration as her mind traveled back to that conversation a couple weeks ago. "Well, Arnold said I should sit Olga down and talk to her and make her listen to me, so I did." Helga paused then, a look of realization and surprise slowly dawning on her face.

"What is it, Helga?" asked Bliss. "And what did you tell her?"

"Well, I told her that I couldn't stand her…and she honestly seemed really surprised and upset about it. And then she _asked me _what she could do about it, so I told her to move to Alaska and teach Inuit children instead…_and she actually did it_!

"You sound surprised" Bliss noted with especially great interest as she looked up from the notes she'd been taking about what Helga had said to Olga.

"Well, it's pretty rare for her to actually listen" said Helga.

"Why do you think it is that she listened that time but not any other time?"

Helga gave it some thought for a moment. "Well, I guess I was a little tougher that time when I told her I needed to talk to her."

"Tougher in what sense?" asked Bliss.

"Well, that time I said 'Olga, we really need to talk, now!'"

"And what did you usually say all those times when she didn't listen?"

"Uh, well, earlier I said we should set boundaries, like don't boss me around at school too much, and don't meddle in my personal affairs…"

"Well, it sounds like you were fairly direct with her that time" said Bliss. "I wonder why she didn't listen that time but she did that later time when you said you needed to talk."

Helga laughed bitterly and threw her arms up in the air in frustration. "You're asking _me _to explain how _Olga's_ brain works? You might as well be asking an alien from the planet Venus to explain how a Martian thinks. No, wait, that's not different enough! You might as well be asking an alien from _Mercury _how one from _Pluto _works!" (**Author's Note 5: I figure this story takes place sometime in the late 90s, so Pluto's still considered a planet**).

"But if you had to guess why that time went differently, what would your best guess be?"

For the next three minutes, Helga carefully considered the question. Finally, she said "well, I did pretty much tell her that what she was doing was making our relationship worse – making it even harder for me to stand her – and that we'd be closer if she left. She spent most of the visit telling me how she wanted to get closer to me. I guess the fact that she listened means she must've meant it, in her own twisted way."

"Do you think she still wants to get close to you?" asked Bliss.

"Well, she does still send me post cards from Alaska and reply to my post cards, so maybe she does" Helga guessed. "I always assumed the reason she's so touchy-feely was because she wanted to pretend to care about me, or she wanted to be annoying, but I guess now that I think about it, maybe she does care."

"Touchy-feely?" Bliss asked. Helga did another impression of her older sister for the next minute to help her psychologist get the idea, being sure to emphasize how often Olga hugged her or kissed her on the check when she didn't want it, annoyingly smothered her with affection, or told her what a "special bond" they had because Helga was her "baby sister".

It was quite a clear and vivid picture Helga was painting, Bliss thought, and she made sure to take notes about it on her clipboard. She couldn't help but feel curious as whether or not her own impression of Olga would be the same if she ever met her, how Olga viewed herself, and what kind of impression she left on other people. _I wonder if I could ever get her in for a sister session, even if Bob and Miriam won't come _she thought. _Maybe getting Olga to understand what Helga's feeling would at least give her someone else to talk to about the way her parents are making her feel. Maybe Olga could even get through to them._ Out loud she asked "Do _you_ want to get close to _her_?"

"Not if it was _her _weird definition of closeness" replied Helga bitterly. Then she glanced down at the couch and with a slight hint of sadness and vulnerability in her voice added "but if it were the kind of closeness where she actually listened to what I said and cared what I thought…well, yeah, I'd like that a lot. I don't see that ever happening, though."

"Why not?" asked Bliss.

"Because Olga usually only cares about herself" Helga replied, sounding very hurt when she said it.

"But just a moment ago, didn't you say that maybe you'd been wrong and she cared after all?" asked Bliss.

"Well, maybe she cares _for now_, I mean" Helga explained, "but I already told you about the time Miriam started caring when she took over the beeper store, and then went back to not caring like usual. The same thing's happened with Bob before, and it'll probably happen with Olga, too."  
_So Bob's had moments of getting better as well _Bliss thought. _That's somewhat encouraging and very interesting_. Out loud she asked "when has it happened with Bob before?"

"Well, there was this one time Bob got me tickets to see _Rats: The Musical_. I actually wanted to see Wrestlemania, but Bob found this magazine page I'd torn out that had an ad for Wrestlemania on one side and an ad for _Rats_ on the other side, and I guess he took a fifty/fifty chance and guessed wrong about which one I wanted to see. But the point is, he _was _trying for once. Also, during Thanksgiving Bob and Miriam and Olga were all really upset when I left the house without telling them because they didn't know where I was. They called the police and put up wanted posters and everything." Smiling at the memory, she blissfully added "mom and dad even said they were glad to have me as their daughter." Bliss noticed that Helga finally called them "mom and dad" again instead of "Bob and Miriam", and that she said it with a much warmer tone than she'd ever spoken  
about her family before.

Looking down at the couch again, tears started to stream down Helga's eyes. It wasn't loud like when she'd cried during her second session; it was soft, quiet crying. Another thing about it that was different from her second session tears was that she didn't try to hold it back. By now, she felt completely safe in this room, her temporary sanctuary where she was made to feel like she mattered and rarely needed to hide her feelings.  
Softly through her tears, she said "I remember when Bob and Miriam said that, about being proud that I was their daughter. I'd always wanted to hear them say something like that. It's the last time I can remember anyone in my family really making me feel…..loved. Last time I can remember _anyone _making me feel that way, actually." And then, her throat hurting and her voice a shaky whisper as she spoke, she added "it's the last time anyone besides you, Arnold or Phoebe ever" she choked for a moment, then sobbed, then continued "ever made me…...feel….…..…like they cared about me at all" she sobbed some more "or like I...…mattered at all." Now her sobbing got louder, still not nearly as loud as when she'd cried two sessions ago, but pretty loud nonetheless.

A very sympathetic Doctor Bliss got a bunch of tissues for Helga, who cried for the next five minutes. How many other students who'd come to her for counseling had complained about Helga? How many of them had fumed, enraged and resentful of this or that awful thing she'd called them? How many had cried like Helga was crying now, hurt and wanting to know what they'd ever done to make her hate them so much? If only they could understand how vulnerable and timid she really was on the inside, or how her cruelty to them was really just a symptom of fear that they would otherwise be cruel to her, or how much more pain she was in then she'd ever inflicted on them.

In fact, it seemed quite plausible that many of them would greatly enjoy her company and vice versa if they could somehow get past that layer of anti-social behavior she used to hide her other feelings besides her anger. Maybe then she wouldn't feel quite so lonely, or at least school could be a supportive environment where she could escape the lonely life she had at home. Unfortunately, that would only happen if she wasn't too afraid to give more of her schoolmates a chance and they weren't too angry at her or scared of her or hurt by her to give her a chance, and right now it didn't seem like either side was going to make the risky move anytime soon.

"Helga" Bliss finally asked, "would you like to keep talking about the subject at hand, or would you like a break? If you want, we could play a game, or talk about something light that will make you feel better, or take a walk, or we could just sit here in silence for a moment." Helga chose a walk at first, and she wore her trench coat as she and Bliss walked around outside. She saw several happy looking families outside, however, which only made her feel worse, so after just a little under three minutes they went back inside and played cards for a while. By the time they resumed the session, their break had been almost thirteen minutes long.

"Do you feel ready to pick up where we left off, Helga?" asked Bliss.

"As ready as I'll ever be" Helga said glumly.

"It's okay if you're not ready, you know" Bliss gently assured her patient. "If you'd rather post-pone the conversation we were just having until a later session, I can make note of it and move on to something else for today. Or, we could break longer if you'd like. We still have about twenty-seven minutes left."

"No" Helga said "let's get back to it".

"Alright then" Bliss checked over her notes. "You said your family telling you they were proud to have you was the last time anyone besides Arnold, Phoebe or I made you feel like you mattered."

"Yeah" Helga acknowledged quietly.

"Why do you think that is?"

"Well, like I said, no one else acts like they care about me".

"Do you feel that you need other people to care about you in order to feel like you matter?" Bliss asked gently.

That question caught Helga completely off guard. "Huh?" Bliss repeated the question. "Well, don't most people?"

"What do you think might happen if you decided for yourself that you matter, regardless of what other people think?" asked Bliss.

"I guess that probably would make me a lot happier, but I'm not sure how to do it" replied Helga.

"Remember that list we made at our last session of things that you like about yourself?"

"Yeah" said Helga, her face slowly getting happier. She could see where this was going.

"Would you still believe you have all of those traits, even if someone told you that you didn't?"

"Yes" she affirmed proudly.

"Then what reason do you have to ever doubt that you matter?"

"None!" Helga declared proudly, leaping off the couch and then standing up on it. She yelled excitedly "I'm important! I'm worth respect! I'M PROUD OF BEING HELGA G. PATAKI!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Arnold stopped for a moment as he and Gerald were walking away from the boarding house on their way to the arcade. "Did you hear something, Gerald?" Gerald shook his head, and Arnold looked puzzled for a moment, then shrugged and kept walking.

* * *

Helga panted excitedly, intoxicated by the strong good feelings racing through her. "_Man _that felt good!" she yelled.  
Bliss stifled an amused but good-natured chuckle. "Good. I'm glad." Naturally, this made Helga feel slightly less terrible about the way her family treated her, but it didn't even come close to taking the pain away completely. They continued to discuss the subject for the next eleven minutes or so, with a particular emphasis on trying to understand and then the subject came back to the day Helga confessed to changing Olga's grade. "How did it feel to confess to that?"

"Annoying" Helga grumbled bitterly.

"Why was it annoying?" Bliss asked.

Helga grumbled bitterly again. "My stupid conscience got the better of me. My football-headed conscience, I mean."  
"What do you mean by 'got the better of' you?"

Helga's passionate frustration flared up again, and she stood up and paced around the room angrily. "He just _had_ to make me feel all guilty about giving _Olga _exactly what she deserved, and then I went and undid it! And ever since then she's kept stealing mom and dad's love from me and ruining my life!"

"And how has she done those things?" asked Bliss.

"Like I said" Helga threw her exasperation at her therapist, "by being perfect".

"Has she done any other bad things to you?" Bliss asked.

"She almost never listens when I try to tell her something important" Helga snarled through gritted teeth, wondering why she was being asked to repeat herself.

"Anything else?" Bliss asked.

"No" Helga spat, "but isn't that enough?"

"Why do you think she does those things, Helga?" Bliss asked, curious what Helga would say.

"I don't know" Helga moaned irritably.

"What did she say when you confessed to changing her grade?"

"She said it was rotten thing to do, and she said I was lucky mom and dad didn't pay any attention to me."

"Did she explain why she thought you were lucky?"

"Something about how she had to perform for them a lot" Helga said dismissively, "I think she said it made her feel like a wind-up doll."

"And what did you think when she said that?"

"Well" Helga paused and thought back for a moment, "I guess at the time I was kind of surprised, but now I guess it shouldn't have surprised me at all. I mean, Olga's always been whiny."

"Would it be accurate to say, then, that you don't think she has a valid reason for being unhappy?"

"She's not the one who's being treated like she doesn't exist and can't come to them for help with her problems or count on them to pack a real lunch for her."

"And you have every right to be angry about that" Bliss said gently, "no one should have to go through what you've been through. But I keep wondering if your sister understands your problems and concerns or the harm she's doing by not helping you address them."  
Helga threw her arms up in the air and yelled "how could she not know?"

"Has she ever said anything to indicate that she does know?"

Helga sighed and returned to the couch, having tired herself out from all her anger. She quietly, unenthusiastically mumbled "no, but she never listens when I try to tell her. She either doesn't know or doesn't care, I guess….probably both."

Then, a thought occurred to Doctor Bliss. "Has she ever talked to you or your parents about her own problems?"

"No" Helga replied, "nobody ever talks about problems in our house. The day Bob found out I was going to have therapy, he told me not to tell you anything. He said Patakis sweep things under the rug instead of talking about them."

"Would you like to hear any of my theory, Helga?"

Helga shrugged, not much energy left in her at this point. "Sure, why not?"

"These are only my guesses" she made sure to clarify, "but I wonder if your sister doesn't want to acknowledge that anyone in your family has problems because she knows that your father doesn't want to talk about them. If your parents really make her feel like a 'wind-up doll' but she hasn't told them, she may be afraid to let them know that she doesn't want the attention. And if she's that afraid of your parents expressing disapproval of her, she may honestly think that you're better off not being noticed by them, in which case it may be hard for her to believe that _your _feelings are valid or that you really have the problems you do."

Helga took a moment to let all of that sink in. "You really think so?"

"Like I said, they're only guesses" Bliss repeated. "But they seem to me like a plausible explanation for your sister's behavior patterns based on everything you've told me." _And based on Bob's phone call _she thought privately. "But what do you think? Do they fit what you've observed about Olga?"  
Helga took the next three minutes or so to think it over. "I…um…I don't know. I guess, maybe. But how does that help _me _in any case?"  
"Do you think having an idea of where your sister's coming from might help you get her to listen?"

Helga took another three minutes or so to mull that one over, trying to picture how she might go about approaching this subject and getting through to Olga. She finally sighed with frustration and said "I don't know".

"Are there times when you could talk to Olga without your parents knowing about it?"

"Sure" Helga said with mild weary annoyance, "she's always looking for opportunities to 'bond' with me. If I needed to talk to her, I could just ask her to take me out to the park or something."

"What if you did that during this visit of hers in two weeks, and then told her that listening to what you have to say could bring you closer together as sisters?"

"Maybe that would work" Helga said with cautious optimism.

"How do you feel about Olga's visit now?" Bliss asked.

"Still not really looking forward to it" Helga confided, "but I guess having a plan makes me feel a little bit better. I just hope it works."

"I hope so too" said Doctor Bliss. "Any other thoughts on Olga?"

"Not really" said Helga.

"I was curious if you ever got to use any of the ideas we came up with for dealing with Brainy."

"Brainy hasn't been around lately" Helga said truthfully. She deliberately neglected to mention that there were often periods where Brainy didn't seem to show up, and then he'd start popping up behind her during her Arnold monologues again. She firmly expected him to show up again, and when he did, she had every intention of hitting him again, but there was no need to tell Doctor Bliss that. During their previous session, Helga and Bliss had discussed how to non-violently stop Brainy from harassing her, but Helga still believed she had every right to just punch Brainy and would lie to Bliss to get her to leave her alone about the issue. Helga was sure Bliss meant well, but she was also sure Bliss didn't understand how annoying Brainy could be and that grown-ups in general didn't understand how necessary violence sometimes was to survive in the child world.

"Well, good" said Bliss, "maybe he's finally learned his lesson".

"Maybe" Helga lied.

"We have about four minutes left" said Bliss. "Is there anything else you'd like to talk about today?"

Helga briefly considered bringing up more, but this session had already given her a lot to think about with regard to Olga. "Nah"

"Then I'll see you at the usual time after school on Tuesday?" Bliss asked.

"Yeah, see ya then" Helga confirmed.

* * *

Helga made her way out of the office, down the stairs and to the bus stop unsure what to think. She had a plan of action, but she knew that it may or may not make things better. Her mind wandered some more as she slipped into her trench coat and boarded the bus. Could Doctor Bliss have been right about Olga? Could it be that Olga really didn't mean to be the #2 bane of her existence, but was scared to be a decent sister and didn't realize the pain she was causing Helga? Helga wanted to believe that, but some bitter, cynical part of her still wasn't ready to accept the idea.  
_That's just way too good to be true, isn't it? _the cynical voice in her head asked rhetorically. This voice sounded a lot like the scoffing, snide voice she used out loud when talking to most of the other kids at school. _Why not give her another chance? _asked a more idealistic voice in her mind that sounded like Arnold. _What've you got to lose?_ The two voices argued the issue back and forth for the rest of the bus ride and most of her walk home, until they were both interrupted by another part of Helga's mind that sounded more like the vulnerable tone she sometimes used when she was alone. _Well _said that part of her, _we'll find out in two weeks, won't we?  
_

* * *

Finally, Helga reached her house. Rather than bother to ring the doorbell, she used one of the keys she'd stolen from Miriam when it became clear that Miriam was too far under the influence of her "smoothies" to open the door for her. Inside, she heard her parents excitedly discussing preparations for Olga's arrival. _She won't be here for another two weeks! _Helga thought resentfully. _Don't you have anything else to talk about?_ They barely noticed her walk past, and she went straight up to her room to visit her shrine and write some more poetry about Arnold.

* * *

Back at her office, Doctor Bliss looked over her notes on the session with Helga. She could only desperately hope that she'd been right about Olga, especially since she'd only been using what clues she had and her knowledge of psychology to make educated guesses about someone she'd never met. If Helga's entire family continued to be uncooperative, Bliss knew she might have to encourage Helga to shift the focus of their sessions to learning coping mechanisms until she became old enough to move away from her family. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that.

She sifted through her schedule, looking over her clients for the next few days. Children from all grades, all economic levels, many races and both genders would be meeting her tomorrow and next week. It seemed that no matter where a person was in life or what traits they had, lots of people needed help from time to time, and she was glad to be there to provide it. How ironic, she thought, that Lila Sawyer's next session would be the same day as Helga's.


	5. NOT A CHAPTER, but an announcement!

To all my fans who've followed this series, given me advice, and reviewed, thank you! I've been planning for a while now to start a series called "Helga's Sessions Spin-offs" which would consist of mostly one-shot stories that would work on their own as individual stories but would also tie in with the "Helga's Sessions" series and take place in the same continuity as that series. A month ago I started working on both "Helga's Fifth Session" and a "Helga's Sessions Spin-off" called "Lila On The Couch" (which would've been about Lila's first therapy session).

I'm still working on both of those projects and I'm very sorry I haven't finished either of them yet. I know you all have lives outside waiting for the next installment in my fan fiction series, but I also know from personal experience what it's like to really enjoy a fic or series and have to wait a long time for the next chapter of the fic or (as in this case) story in the series.

So, to tide you guys over and show you that I haven't forgotten about this series, I wrote a shorter, less ambitious "Helga's Sessions Spin-off" called "Helga's Thursday Night". To find it, just go to my profile (click the words "unusual individual" at the top of this note) and in my profile, click on "Helga's Sessions Spin-offs". Please post all reviews of it there and not here (though feel free to let me know if you got there from here, if you'd like).

Thanks again!


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